Learning to Live in the Present with Mindfulness

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Note: This month’s post is an article I wrote that was recently published in the Austin American Statesman newspaper.

As a spiritual-based counselor, I like to incorporate the words and wisdom of the world’s great spiritual teachers in assisting my clients.

I frequently encounter individuals who are unhappy or discontent. There are an infinite number of reasons as to why people are unhappy and many of them are very valid. It would be terribly difficult to be happy when you, a dear friend, or family member is suffering with a debilitating illness, or experiencing dire financial hardship and struggling to keep a roof over your head and food on the table.

However, more typically, my client’s unhappiness stems from reasons less extreme and that often are rooted in the past or in anticipation of the future.

I do not know anyone who doesn’t have a few decisions they regret. I constantly remind my clients that they are human and part of the human condition is that we will make mistakes. Yet, some people have a habit of focusing on the past and letting it dictate their mental and physical state. They allow the past to define and confine them. Their focus on the past hinders their ability to enjoy life and fully experience today.

I also encounter a fare share of worriers. These individuals tend to view events and their life from a negative perspective. They see the glass as “half empty” as opposed to “half full.” As with individuals who are confined by the past, worriers are confined by their imagination regarding the future, in that their expectation that something bad will happen prevents them from stepping outside their self-imposed limitations, realizing their potential and enjoying today.

When I have a client who is living in the past or worried about the future, I will introduce them to the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness has become quite popular as a technique to bring an individual’s focus and attention into the present moment. When performed properly, the individual becomes fully engaged in the here and now.

I treasure the reactions and observations of my clients when they achieve mindfulness. For many, this is the first time they have experienced being in the now through their own efforts. In the present, my clients will tell me they feel liberated, as if the pressure of the past and the worry of the future have been instantly lifted from their shoulders. Many will describe mindfulness as being a spiritual experience. I will emphasize to them that the present moment is always there, waiting for them to become mindful of it.

The Buddha said, “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

We cannot change the past, nor can we accurately foretell the future. By focusing on something we cannot change and worrying about unknowns, we suffer unnecessarily.

The practice of living in the present through mindfulness will show you the key to dealing with the past and worrying about the future is forgiveness and acceptance. To sever the ties that keep us stuck in the past, we must forgive others and ourselves, and we must accept that we don’t know what the future will bring, be it good, bad or indifferent.

Life is happening right now, not tomorrow, next week, or next month. In the present, today is truly the first day of the rest of your life.

Peace and blessings,

Where does your spiritual work lie?

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This is a question I am often asked by individuals in my private sessions. It is a very important question and one that I would encourage you to ask yourself if you haven’t already done so. If you are unsure where your spiritual works lies, try the following exercise.

When you have some time to yourself, find a place where you can relax and be undisturbed. Next, make the effort to be in the Now. In the Now, you rise above the thoughts and desires of the ego (our false personality) and engage your inner being, your higher self. When you have successfully quieted the mind through presence, ask your higher self, “Where does my spiritual work lie? What do I need to do to grow spiritually?” Be patient and answers will come to you.

Your ego may try to convince you that you don’t need to make any additional efforts, that you are already “very spiritual.” Don’t be fooled by the ego. Even the most spiritually advanced individuals must continue to make efforts.

In case you are wondering, my spiritual work is to love, to accept the love of others, to be joyful, to comfort others in need, to try to be present to each moment of my life, to be true to myself, to fully experience each day no matter the circumstances, to be more compassionate towards all, to be less judgmental, to not express negativity, and to reach the end of each day knowing that I attempted to make the world a better place than it was when I awoke in the morning. Yes, that is a lot. And most days I’m not successful, but I try.

Peace and blessings,

Don’t Let the Past Define You

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Ever have a bad day, a really bad day? A day in which everything that could go wrong, went wrong? A day that you wish you could do all over? Well, you’re not alone. We all experience bad days. Awful days. Sometimes, we have bad weeks. And sometimes, we have a bad year.

When you have a bad day, it’s important that you recognize it for what it is. In all truthfulness, it was just a day—a day in which either bad or unfortunate things happened, whether or not you were responsible for them.

It is human nature to focus upon and remember the things that go wrong than it is the things that go well. That is because we all have a “critical voice” in our head that taunts and chastises us and tells us all sorts of horrible, terrible lies about ourselves because that critical voice doesn’t recognize that we are capable of changing our behavior or attitudes. It wants to define us. This critical voice is tied to the ego and the ego needs consistency. The ego doesn’t want anything to shake the foundation of beliefs that it possesses about you.

But, you do have a choice. You are capable of change. Today you were one person, and you cannot change what happened today, but tomorrow you will awaken to a new day and you can make the conscious choice to be totally different. You don’t have to repeat the mistakes of today, the past week, the past month, or your life.

If you have aspects of yourself that you want to change, whether it’s a bad habit, a way of thinking, or a major lifestyle change, what are you waiting for? Don’t let what happened today define who you are, or what and who you are going to be tomorrow. You determine your reality. You determine how you choose to respond to events occurring around you. You alone are capable of change. No one will do it for you. It is up to you. And don’t worry about what anyone else may think or say.

Walt Whitman, in his poem “Song of Myself” writes,

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

You, too, are large and contain multitudes. You, too, are capable of change. Don’t let others define you based on the actions or decisions of today, the past week, the past year, or your entire life.

Consider each day a blank canvas. What will you paint today? At the end of the day, as you gaze upon the canvas that you created based on your attitudes, choices, actions…what did you paint? Are you pleased with it? If not, throw it out. Don’t dwell on it. Tomorrow is a new day and the chance to create a new painting. And if others question the changes you make, tell them you are not the same person that you were yesterday. You are vast. You are multitudes. You are capable of change.

And tomorrow, as with each new day, aim to create a beautiful painting.

Peace and blessings,